I'd always been curious about doing a boudoir shoot, but didn't physically look like I wanted to look when doing it. I was worried that the pictures wouldn't turn out like I wanted them to due to my physical insecurities (rolls, chunky thighs, double chin, etc.).
Getting pampered beforehand was fun. (The staff at St. James salon were great!) The drive out, though long, was beautiful. The shoot itself was a blast. Charity took time looking through the various outfit choices I'd brought, we picked out some things, and then got into it! Posing felt a little awkward at first, but I'd been in the group and watched her work long enough to trust that she knew what she was doing. Once I got used to it, I could relax a little more, too. In the end, I had a blast and felt like a badass!
I'd always been curious about dong a boudoir shoot. I especially love photographers who are size-inclusive and who promote body positivity and beauty across all shapes & sizes. I myself didn't look like I wanted to look when I finally did a shoot, but I talked myself into doing it as a birthday present for myself. I figured, even if I lost the weight I wanted to, I probably will never be comfortable enough with my body to say that it was thin/good enough to jump in. And, if by some miracle, I ever do look that way, it'll probably be years from now and I'll have some other excuse (I'm too old, too wrinkly, etc.) to latch onto. I'd rather do the shoot and risk it regretting not looking how I wanted to (which is not how it turned out!), than never do a shoot and regret not taking the chance at all.
I saw Charity recommended by someone else who'd done a shoot with her. I love photography as an art form and follow many photographers, so I decided to see what she was all about. I lurked in her group for several weeks, watching her post pics of her sessions (which are GORGEOUS) and just watching the overall body-positive vibe of the group. I really connected to what I saw and appreciated how she makes everyone feel safe, appreciated, and beautiful!
It was nice to take a break from being in my usual wife/mother caregiver role and remind myself what it feels like to do something just for me & to feel like a beautiful, badass, sexy woman. I know she's in there (which is why it didn't change my perception, necessarily), but I get so caught up with the day-to-day at work & home, it was really nice to let her out to get glammed up & play & shine for a little while.